‘I do not know what to blame sometimes: my ADHD brain, or my medicated brain. I still do not know what to treasure the most.’

‘I want you to join me. I want you to feel your anger, turn it into rage, hold him to account within yourself for what he has done, find your strength, and feel the euphoria that I felt when I found mine.’

‘I am now the site of a scientific experiment. Wires are connected to the cannula in the back of my hand and another at the crook of an elbow. Unnamed liquids flow in.’

‘Nurses would follow me down the halls, counting my steps with a ticker. I wasn’t allowed to participate in the daily outdoor walks to conserve calories. I was stuck in the stale hospital air and harsh lights.’

‘I found – with enough work – I was able to sublimate the urge to detest myself into other outlets. I could convert this force into art; into kindness; into a force for creation.’

‘Why did I feel the pressure to drink even when there was no one to pressure me?’

‘I am on the verge of twenty-six. The country is again on the verge of destroying human rights.’

‘You do not get to be exonerated because this was ‘a different time’, because as a society we spoke less about consent, because rape culture and toxic masculinity were challenged less often than they are now.’

‘Something no one tells you about going on a silent retreat, the thing they neglected to put in the FAQs, is that at some point you will come face-to-face with your darkness.’

‘It is exhausting to try and explain your own trauma, let alone the trauma of an entire community, to people who don't understand or even contribute to it.’

‘My wandering womb pulls open at the edges, and I peel back another layer.’

‘I typed out that day’s events to my therapist using too many words with too many details.’

On learning to listen

On cultivating self-worth in a beatdown environment